// To quit or not to quit.

To Quit, or not to Quit.

Quitting. That's the easiest thing to do - quit and give up when the going gets tough. You really see what you're made of when things are not going the way you want them to.

The last couple of weeks I have had numerous moments where life made a stop on me, or I really needed to dig deep to see if I wanted to quit.

When do you stop pursuing the company you believe in, whilst a lot of your trusted people ask you, “Are you sure??”

I also pointed out today to a close acquaintance about his child who wants to commit suicide all day long, “When should you, as parents, take the call to have your child put in a closed clinic for their protection, or try to ‘fix’ it yourself?”

When do you stop pursuing the feelings and affection of your dream partner, whilst there is no path to repair from the other side.

Is quitting right or wrong? I think it depends on a few things and, also, every quit determines a path.

It is my belief that, whether private or business, it comes down to a few points.

There are 7 stages of relationships according to psychology.

Passionate Love

This is what most people think when they imagine young or destined love. Birds are chirping, the glass is half full, and the “love” chemicals (dopamine and phenylethylamine) have engorged the neural pathways of the brain, making you feel happy, invincible and on top of the world. This stage often begins on the first date and ends the day you see the person for who they really are (good or bad). To move past this honeymoon stage, don’t allow the “high” to cloud your judgement about the person you’re with.

Discovery

Under certain circumstances, such as when you’ve found your compatible soulmate, discovery can be a wonderful experience, but more than likely it will be a time of discouragement. As relationships wear on, the love chemicals in the brain begin to dry up along with our perfect perceptions of the person we’re with. The person we once thought was flawless is human, complete with strange quirks, bad habits and differing points of view. The key to getting past this stage is discovering what it is you truly need from your partner, while learning to let go of all the little nit-picky things that don’t matter.

If there are incompatibilities, talk - solve and heal. At this stage things are possible.

Dedication

After discovery, we have a better grasp of our spouse or employees and business partners. In this stage, we can feel secure and certain that we are dating the correct person, and we commit to the relationship. The envy and/or uncertainty of stages 1 and 2 are a welcome break from the stage of commitment, but monotony and boredom have become our new adversaries. Many couples lose their sense of romance and surprise because they are so laid back in their relationship. The best approach to get over this phase is to improve your communication skills.

When companies are in distress, it is tough to get people dedicated to have the same goal. Again, communication is the best way forward, in my vision.

Power Battles

Before committing, a power struggle can occasionally take place. Everyone must take on a certain amount of ownership in their relationship for there to be a meaningful outcome. We worked on our partnership in stage three, and now in stage four, we're regaining our uniqueness and capacity to manage the relationship. Maybe your spouse likes fishing, so you've been fishing with them, but now you'd like them to do some of the activities you prefer. Maybe they want the kitchen blue, but you'd much rather have it red. Recognizing and respecting individuality is essential to resolving these kinds of disputes, and the best way to do this is through compromise.

There is no communication anymore

Every relationship, but especially romantic ones or your own business, needs to be able to communicate. One of the top three reasons for marriage failure in America is a lack of effective communication. When people in a company don’t communicate anymore years of building can go down the drain in minutes. When to leave any relationship depends on whether you quarrel all the time and seem unable to settle disputes. Even while you can learn how to avoid conflicts, you might not be able to resolve the more serious issues that a lack of communication points to.

You feel undervalued

Relationships are settings or environments where we go to give rather than take. The relationship will succeed if both partners and parties contribute equally. However, if your partner or employees don’t appreciate you or take you for granted, problems lie ahead. Relationship stressors that can be resolved occasionally cause this. It might be time to break up if you feel strongly that your partner or employees no longer value you, or you don’t value them.

Crisis and Recovery

This stage can occur anytime, but due to its advanced nature, it will be considered the final stage of a relationship. A crisis could be considered an illness, job loss, death of a child, or an affair. Recovery lies in resisting the urge to take these frustrations out on each other, by taking on both roles of caretaker and patient. A crisis is equally draining on both partners, therefore it’s important to be available to give and receive. The good news is, if you recover you will have gained valuable team building experience that will enable you to take on any further challenges life has to offer.

The seven stages of a relationship may appear to be rather difficult, yet they are an essential element of what every couple or company must go through. One day, you'll reflect and recall your intense love, your discoveries, the commitments that brought you contentment, and the power struggles that led to progress and stability - you are on a high for a deal and the other day finances don’t come through. You'll learn about a romantic love that can adapt and develop over many crises and recovery periods thanks to enhanced communication and intimacy. Making it through these stages will, in the end, result in a genuinely stronger relationship.

DO NOT TRY TO FIX IT if you are the only one who wants to fix it.

Your willingness to work on the connection is the key to knowing when to end it. If you're willing to put in the effort, you can build a fulfilling relationship. However, if you're in stage four of the Six Stages of a Relationship—Planning Your Escape— it’s time to move on. You're past the point of needing, or being able, to mend the relationship if you're thinking about living without your partner. Get the nerve to walk away.

The main questions is if you know you were wrong, you are in a different stage of your relationship then the other partner, or employee.

The key, again, is communication.

I have not found my way in these battles. The only thing I can do is open channels of communication and be open to debate, in a respectful way.

With some, I am in stage four and I wish I was in two some in stage seven which I wish I was in stage five. Every relationship is different. Every relationship requires something more and hoping it works.